It hadn't hit me yet that it was over. I was trying not to let it until I was home and could lement in the privacy of my own room. The night before and that day I had been forcing myself to be a robot and just pack, get on the train, get on the plane, and go go go. Emotions could sink in afterward. When I got off the train in Frankfurt I began tearing up, only because it felt like I had just arrived here yesterday. My suitcase jamming me in the heel struggling to get it onto the escalator kicked the stoicism back into me, though.
There was a Tram strike that morning, of course on the day I had to move. All Taxis had an hour and a half waitlist. Panicked, I found two Germans in StuSie that had a car and said they would give me a ride. It seems as though I had met wonderful people in the last three weeks I was there, unfortunately. I don't even know their names. Sometimes it's the less significant people in your life that you miss the most, only because goodbyes are that much more permanent. The people you know well enough to call or go visit at least have a solid relationship to you so you know you'll have them in your life again at some point. It's the people you're afraid of forgetting that are the hardest to say goodbye to. The kid who would always crack jokes in the back of the classroom. The Turkish family that would always give me hummus. My teachers and even the Hausmeister. What is my Karmic relationship to these people? Why only have them in my life for a few months at a time? The people who sat in the terminal with me - who are they? Where were they going? Where were they leaving? Why did they happen to be on the same flight as me? Will I see them in 20 years and never know that we sat in the same room for two hours waiting for a flight?
Impermanence is a powerful thing. I just hope to see you all again at sometime.
-Emily
I'm sorry it is hard for you to say good-bye, but I am also happy for you, because that means you made the most of your time there. I never doubted that you would.
ReplyDeleteYou are right that there are so many people that come into our lives and affect them (for good or for bad) and many of these people we will never really know and may forget. The important thing is to remember who they helped us to become.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your time in Germany with me. It was nice to be there again vicariously through you.